Level: Lower intermediate to high (Script is provided)
A)Download, listen and watch the short vido on table manners by Norine Dresser.B) You can download the transcript of Ms. Dresser in word (+ vocabulary) and the video from this link HERE
C) Answer the questions
Questions for the Talk
1. What table manners in your country/region might be surprising for an outsider?2. Out of the table manners Ms. Dresser mentions, which ones are the most surprising? Explain why. 3. Have you ever faced or witnessed misunderstandings due to cross-cultural differences, whether related to table manner or other cultural dissimilarities?
4. Do you know of any film, book or piece of news that deal with cultural differences? How do they portray those differences?
5. What would have been your reaction in front of any of the cultural differences that Ms. Dresser mentions?
See related task from the Joy Luck Club HERE
This is the script of the video
How do table manners differ among cultures?
There are big differences between cultures. Whether they eat with their hands, always with the right hand, no matter where, whether they eat with chopsticks, whether they eat with just a spoon. Utensils, the foods that they eat, the foods that are taboo. You of course know about shellfish and pork for Jews, alcohol for Muslims.
How does offering food to guests differ among cultures?
Offering food is something Americans say, "Would you like some ice cream?" We'll say, "Oh, no thank you. Not right now." And I'll ask you one more time, "Would you like some ice cream?" And you'll say, "No, thank you" and I've got the message you don't want any ice cream. But, I learned from a friend of mine who was actually an instructor of mine from Indonesia at UCLA. And he said, when he first came to the US, he was so hungry all the time, people would invite him for dinner. And they'd say, "Would you join us for dinner?" And he'd say, "No, thank you." And they'd say, "Oh, come on, have something to eat with us." And he'd say, "No, thank you." And so they would stop asking, thinking they didn't want to push food on him; maybe he didn't like American food. And so, he was really hungry. And he learned to overcome his rule: at home, people have to ask you three times, offer you food three times before you can accept it. And that applies not only in Indonesia but in other parts of the world as well. So how do you know? I could never stand my mother-in-law; she was born in the old world, and my husband didn't like it either. As soon as we sat down, she would start bringing out all the food. Well, if you bring it out, then that solves that, so don't ask, just serve it and they'll take it. "Oh no, not right now." So then, ask three times.
Why is noisy eating acceptable in other cultures?
In China and Japan slurp your noodles. That's a sign of respect. Smack you lips, I don't know what that means. I don't know exactly. But that also means that the dinner is very good. Belching or burping, in some places bad manners, in other places it was a delicious meal and you feel very satisfied. Generally speaking, we don't talk with food in our mouths. There's this stereotype of the Japanese holding, you know, laughing behind the hand and that's partly because you don't want to show your teeth and your mouth. So that's why they laugh behind here, it won't show your teeth. You don't want to do that while your chewing either but you can slurp your noodles, that's a very good sign.
9 comments:
I knew about the splurping in Japan but I didn't knew about the asking protocol from USA and Indonesia. It was kinda interesting I supose.
I found these manners quite interesting, not revolutionary since I already knew about the burping and the noodle slurping, but interesting nonetheless. I did find the asking pattern strange, however; I had never heard of that being a thing.
This is quite interesting, during the time I spent in South Korea, I was shocked to see some people slurping, or even eating with their mouth open, at the beginning I was a bit disgusted but then I guess I got used to it. I think the table manners can change a lot depending on the culture or even the family, this video confirm the theory.
About the task: it’s such a pity that these types of things can create disputes between cultures, just for the simple fact that we have different ways to act and proceed. I mean, in the video it is kinda sad that little things, that the man doesn’t even realise, could have such an important meaning to the woman’s family. And the asking protocol of Indonesia and US, I find it rather confusing.
On the other hand, I’m very interested in that matter. Protocol and manners, feel to me like a very fun subject. It’s cool to know how things work, I’m talking about more occidental culture, very royalty and aristocracy things, like table manners, tea protocol, crossing legs, body language… And for example, then I see very rich people that can go to fancy restaurants, but then they don’t know how to hold a glass, where to put your napkin, etc. I consider it a question of elegance and education, rather than money or social class. - CB
I find this topic pretty interesting, how depending on where you where born you view some behaviours as rude or polite, learning this type of "rules" is also very useful for those who travel a lot!
Sorry I didn't post a comment earlier I thought that for readings it wasn't necesary. Nontheless, I think this reading was interesnting because it shows how culturally different we are.
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